Like many of Indy's amazing feats throughout the years, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull narrowly escapes death from the clutches of the all-powerful Hype Machine. I love Indiana Jones. I wanted to be him growing up. And the movies, even the crappy one, Temple of Doom, are all movies that everyone needs to see before they die. The stories were supernatural, yet at the same time plausible and not too far out there. The action was great, the dialogue humorous, and the stories engaging.
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, however, while still very entertaining, does not feel like Indiana Jones. It still has all the action, all the humor, and even Shia Labeouf, who everyone questioned, does a great job at delivering some of the much needed comic relief. There's one scene where he even combs his hair before prepping to be executed by some native, and for some reason, it actually works. The special effects are engaging and fun to watch, even if it does succumb to using too much CGI at times, and damn it if Harrison Ford can't still swing around and do a great job as Indy. He hasn't lost anything. And even with the gray hair he doesn't seem physically dematerialized at all.
So what's the problem, Brent?
The story.
It sucks.
The stories in the Indiana Jones films have always walked that fine line between plausible and implausible very well, sometimes teetering over the edge a little bit but never enough to make us believe that what we were watching just couldn't happen. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on the other hand jumps over that line of implausibility, sprints, and never looks back.
I'll buy the Holy Grail turning someone to ashes, I'll buy a temple where guys rip other guys' hearts out, I'll buy the Ark of the Covenant cursing those who open it... ...but I'm not buying aliens hiding a spaceship underground and planting the seed of civilization.
George Lucas and Steven Spielberg turned Indiana Jones into sci-fi. Granted, there's nothing wrong with sci-fi, it's just that this story simply does not belong in Indiana Jones. It just doesn't. And it just gets better and better (aka worse and worse in this context) as it leads up to one of the most ludicrous endings I've ever seen. Which would've been fine if it WASN'T Indiana Jones.
Ultimately, this a movie worth seeing. It's fun to watch, the acting is solid, and Harrison Ford is still Indy. It just doesn't feel like a true Indiana Jones movie, though. Thanks to its farfetched, sci-fi, kiddy story that is borderline fantasy, what was supposed to be the greatest movie of the summer has tripped over a rock, with The Dark Knight and Wall-E nipping at its heels.
Score: 7/10
